You lose some…

I tell you, this 5 year Q & A journal really is a thing of beauty!  As I’ve said multiple times already, I absolutely adore it.  I’m a self-reflective person by nature (because what other type of person would have a blog really?!) and I’ve always carried a small notebook around to document my immediate thoughts and feelings.  But, let’s be honest, you don’t always get time to write down a particularly poignant or meaningful sentence or idea in the middle of the day especially if, like me, you’re sitting at a desk doing a million different things.  Sometimes the phrase just slips away from you, never to be retrieved again…on better but rarer occasions, the phrase will migrate back into your brain a few moments or days later when you actually have a pen in your hand and your notebook is at your disposal.  However, like I said, there are a zillion and two things I want to write down at any given moment, and that’s why I like this journal so much – it reminds me of some of those things I’ve thought about and have forgotten to document…and it forces me to write and consider at least once a day. (Sidenote: I may’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve decided to write in my journal every evening before bed, so that the entire day has already left its imprint on me…I’m pleased to report that this method is working exceptionally well!)

Basically, yesterday’s question is one of those notions I’ve thought about but never sat down to write about.  The question was: What is your resolution for tomorrow?  Now, it’s February 2nd today and that was the question for February 1st, which is a bit of a random day to be making a resolution (like, kind of a month too late by society’s standards, am I right?!).  I’ve always liked the idea of creating many resolutions on many different days, though, so I particularly liked this question.  I’m the type of person who makes resolutions on my birthday because that marks the first day of a new year for me.  I also made my boyfriend celebrate a “new year” of sorts on our one year anniversary, which happened just over a week ago, because that was the start of our next year together.  So, long story short, I don’t think it has to be the first day of January for a resolution to be made.

My resolution for today came pretty easily last night: To try not to be anxious about irrelevant things.  Spoiler alert: I’m a pretty high strung person.  I’m generally nervous about at least a handful of things on any given day (ranging from such trivial items as finding a grey hair to more serious items like attempting to thrive and prove myself at work).  As I’ve said before, I have no actual reason to be as nervous as I am, but I’m a glass half empty kind of person…and as much as I have gotten significantly better and have let myself be happier recently than I’ve ever been, it’s a process and I’m not always fully equipped to slay every single dragon that lands in my way.  So, it seemed like an obvious resolution to try to be a bit less nervous today, if only because everything is going so well for me at the moment.

And then, it snowed.  And my failure was imminent.  I mean, come on, how many people can be calm when there’s 15 to 30 centimetres of snow outside?  I should qualify my statement by admitting that I’m from Toronto, and we don’t deal with snow as well here as they do in certain other provinces and territories.  15 to 30 centimetres of snow equals total transit meltdown – which, surprise surprise, does not equal an easy trip to the office.  I made it in on time (because some high strung people set frequent alarms and wake up multiple times throughout the night to be sure they haven’t slept through them), but it’s not like my stroll to work was full of sunshine and daisies.  Naturally, I became nervous about my trek home before I even made it into work…and these nerves have stuck with me for the last several hours.

Okay, so I failed…but it happens, what can I say?!  It was a rough day to be optimistic and let my worries float into the clouds like hot air balloons, so I’m not overly upset with the failure.  There’s always tomorrow to try again…and 1, 3, 5 years from now to reflect on how I’ve done!

And just a final thought for you all on this snowy day… My wise mother always said to me, Each day is a new chance to reinvent yourself!  So, for my mother, I’m going to resolve to be less nervous when the snow stops tomorrow!

Warm hugs,

JNG

Girl with a Green (and Chilly) Heart

my green heart

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