Note: This post was first written immediately after finishing the novel, while on the bus to work.
Oh gosh, I am officially a sobbing, blubbering mess on the bus! How embarrassing! Good thing someone invented hoods on jackets, or the whole population of small town, suburban Toronto would see me crying like a maniac…over a book…over a work of fiction! How pathetic, they’d probably think…or if they’re English professors, how lovely!
My passion for literature aside, I really need to stop doing this! I honestly don’t blame my boyfriend for being a little fed up because, let’s be honest, I have been picking tear-inducing novels to read on purpose recently. Remember when I read Me Before You and sobbed? Yeah, that was only a little while ago — so what on Earth would compel me to read another book about a terminally ill man so soon?! Well, an innate sense of masochism apparently!
But, more than that (or so I tell myself and my disgruntled boyfriend), I chose to read Ali Harris’s The First Last Kiss because I heard it was an amazing love story and I couldn’t resist! We all know I’m a sucker for love stories…and being in a relationship for the first time in my life has made me crave romance novels more than ever. I guess I’m trying to gather experience through reading, to put myself in different situations and scenarios so that I can work out how I would react if my boyfriend and I went through similar circumstances. I’m trying to acquire knowledge through words.
Hence why I’m a teary-faced mess right now. Of course, when Molly Cooper née Carter’s husband Ryan contracted cancer, I immediately put myself in her position and began to imagine how I would feel and act if the same thing happened to my beloved boyfriend…and the answer is, not well. I mean, I’m crying over fictitious circumstances, so I’m reasonably certain things wouldn’t be any better in real-life. Maybe I do need a break from these emotional rollercoasters for awhile?!
Anyway, this book was great…it truly was! But it was also deep and rough and messy, and so it’s definitely not for the weak-hearted! And as much as it is written in such a fun and unique manner (the narrative is organized by recounting Molly and Ryan’s kisses over the years of their relationship — Sidenote: I seriously think this book needs to be made into a movie because the plot structure would work really well…it seems like it would be similar to the book/movie One Day!), it is also painful and heartwrenching…so many light and fun moments become harder to swallow after Ryan’s diagnosis later in the novel. It’s both romantic and heartbreaking all at once!
So, perhaps the novel didn’t make me better equipped to handle loss necessarily, seeing as I’m having trouble pulling myself together right now. But it did give me some beautiful moments to reflect on — moments so similar to ones my boyfriend and I have shared that they took my breath away! And the novel gave me some beautiful words to reflect on as well — some of the quotes from it seem truly unique and memorable, and so many of them featured on my Twitter page this week with my new favourite #JNGReads tag! Having said that, I am pleased to announce that TWO (count ’em, two!) of those quotes have made it to the ~Janille N G’s Favourite Quotes~ page of this blog. I’ll leave you with them now:
“Now I feel like I was born loving him which means meeting him could never have happened early enough.” – The First Last Kiss, Ali Harris
Now I’m off to go watch PS I Love You! Good idea, right?! Haha, just kidding!
Yours with tears blurring my vision as I type,
Girl with a Green Heart