Prepare for the most visceral of all visceral reactions because…
I AM SUCH A KLUTZ!!! Darn, this is the worst thing that has happened in a long time!!! I’m ridiculously upset right now and I know I only have myself to blame!!! WHYYYYYY AM I SOOOOOO CLUMSY?!?!?!
Okay, so now that the dramatics are done, I should explain what happened. Today, I went outside and sat on a lovely picnic bench to eat and relax and read my totally engrossing and interesting book, Reading Lolita in Tehran (which I know you’ve heard tons about already). So there I am, sipping away at my water, flipping through the pages rapidly, and suddenly I alight on like the only page in the whole book that mentions my personal idol, Charlotte Brontë, and what happens?! I cough. That’s right, I cough…with a mouth full of water. Now, something this lame and upsetting can only happen to someone with truly bad luck, but needless to say the water sprayed ALL OVER my book. The book that my boyfriend’s mother purchased for me. Can anyone spell F-A-I-L?!?! I looked in horror at the soggy, wet pages and I honestly did not know what to do for about 5 whole seconds. I was in shock. Surprisingly, this has never happened to me before (I know, hard to believe!) and so I didn’t even know how to begin drying the thing…like should I try using my napkin? What good would that really do? Should I leave it sitting open for the next…how long? Gosh, it was a nightmare!
Anyway, I decided on the second option and propped the book open, as you can see in the above picture. That British mug really is great for everything, but I kind of wished I didn’t have to use it as a paper weight/book prop-opener.
When I recounted the story with immense sadness to my mother, she literally said, “Now it looks vintage”, which is an unhelpful comment if you ask me because why would I want my book to look vintage if it isn’t?! I want it to look pristine and well taken care of!
I’ve thankfully restored it to some semblance of order now that it’s dry, but I know it’s never going to be the same. It’s all crinkly and wonky. I just want to be finished reading it now, so I can put it on my bookshelf and forget this tragedy ever occurred.
Girl with a (Sad, Sad) Green Heart