Two Quick Reviews on a Sunny Sunday ~ #JNGReads

Happy Sunday everyone!

I just wanted to plop two short reviews on here today, to wrap up my reading from this week. I also managed to finish P.S. I Still love You by Jenny Han this week, and you can read my longer review of it here, if you’re interested.

The Rome Affair by Karen Swan

I really enjoyed The Rome Affair, but I do have to admit that it isn’t my favourite Karen Swan novel that I’ve read recently. Although the plot was intricate, suspenseful and engaging, for some reason I just didn’t get as deeply invested in it as I did with novels like The Summer Without You and The Paris Secret. I also didn’t feel myself becoming as connected to the main character, Cesca, as I did with Cassie in Christmas at Tiffany’s (probably my favourite Karen Swan book I’ve read so far). If I had to compare this book to the others in Swan’s catalogue, I’d say it’s on par with The Greek Escape in that it was full of surprises, but not an absolute standout for me.

The Rome Affair also felt very similar, in my opinion, to Taylor Jenkins Reid’s acclaimed novel The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. Indeed, the premises of the two novels are almost identical, and the only real difference for me was that I liked Elena of The Rome Affair far less than I liked Evelyn Hugo. Elena comes across as infuriatingly guarded and deceitful and it is extremely difficult to warm up to her, and I think that is one of the factors that made me feel less connected to the book overall. That being said, I did still enjoy The Rome Affair immensely because Karen Swan’s quintessential writing style is still present and it always manages to whisk me away immediately.

I would definitely recommend The Rome Affair as a great travel read, something perfect to pack in a carry-on or beach bag. However, if you’re looking to get a true taste for how marvelous and magical Karen Swan’s writing is, I’d recommend starting with something like Christmas at Tiffany’s instead.

❥❥❥❥❥ (out of 5)

Love Letters of Great Men and Women edited by Ursula Doyle

This collection was, unfortunately, very disappointing to me. I picked it up randomly a few years ago and never got around to reading it, and I can’t say that I was really anxious to pick it up, but I did think it would be a lot more compelling and romantic than it was. My main issue with the collection is that I did not consider most of the letters to actually be love letters – on the contrary, most of them were very generic, and although I would’ve expected more from some of the great poets and writers included in the just over 300 pages, I found that the majority of the letters failed to touch me in any way whatsoever.

Oddly enough, I found myself most interested in the biographies and short histories of each letter writer more than the actual letters themselves. However, I found that in most cases, the histories barely related whatsoever to the actual letters, and one seemingly minor person that was mentioned in the vast history of a writer’s life could end up being the recipient of the chosen letter without me having any idea why. I did find that I learned quite a bit from the biographies, though, so they were worth reading in that sense.

One thing that also surprised me is that I found myself moved by letters written by people I had never even heard of, more so than by letters written by figures I was familiar with. For example, I bookmarked letters written by Daniel Webster and Pierre Currie on the men’s side, and Mary Hutchinson, Claire Clairmont, Clara Wieck and Rosa Luxemburg on the women’s side without having ever heard of them prior to picking up this collection. For some reason, their letters had more of an impact on me than any others, and as you can probably surmise from this list, I found the letters written by the women included in the book to be much more emotional and interesting than those written by the men.

I will say that I was very entertained by reading the letters by Maria Branwell (mother of Charlotte, Emily and Anne Brontë), as well as Queen Victoria. Maria’s letters sounded almost like they could’ve come from the pages of Jane Eyre (which I guess makes a lot of sense, in that her writing style is very similar to Charlotte’s), and Queen Victoria’s letter of grief after Prince Albert’s death was one of the most memorable of the entire collection and one I was particularly interested in. (Sidenote: I did find myself wondering, though, why none of Charlotte Brontë’s letters to her French professor Monsieur Héger were included in this collection, since her love for him was quite well-documented and historically significant.)

All in all, I don’t know if I can recommend this collection because it just didn’t really satisfy me in any way. I feel that I could’ve found many of the historical details myself through a quick Google search, and the letters just weren’t interesting or profound enough to make picking up this specific collection seem all that worthwhile, sadly.

❥❥ (out of 5)

JNG

Girl with a Green Heart

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2.5 Million Delayed Reviews ~ #JNGReads

 

Hi Everyone!

This might be a bit of a boring post, as it’s going to be a collection of reviews that I recently posted on Goodreads. I’ve read quite a few books lately, but didn’t feel the urge at the time of finishing them to sit down and write reviews. The other day, though, I was feeling inspired to get back to review writing because it’s something I’ve always enjoyed so much, and so I decided to find some time to sit down and write down my thoughts about the books I’ve delved into over the past few weeks. It felt really good to do this, sort of like getting back a piece of myself after a rough reading start to the year, and I am definitely feeling encouraged to continue not only reading but also writing about one of my favourite things on the planet – BOOKS! – a lot more before (and hopefully, after) my baby arrives in the early Fall!

Roomies by Christina Lauren

This was the first book I read to get me back in the swing of things and out of the most serious reading slump I have ever experienced, and it was definitely exactly the kind of book I needed. Sweet and sexy all at once, this story about a sort of arranged marriage (or perhaps I should say a marriage of convenience) was very engrossing and full of Christina Lauren’s usual charm and wit. I’ve had bad luck with like one Christina Lauren book in the past, but every other one has been an absolute page-turner, and Roomies was no exception. It was fun, funny but also had these heartfelt moments that made me feel connected to the characters in surprising and unexpected ways. Highly recommend this one as a quick and addictive summer read!

❥❥❥❥ (out of 5)

Beautiful Bastard by Christina Lauren

After my success picking up Roomies, I was definitely in the mood for another Christina Lauren love-fest, so I decided to delve into one of their most beloved series. I recently read the final installment, simply titled Beautiful, and I adored it, and that made me super intrigued to go back to the beginning and the story that started it all. I remembered that my mom read Beautiful Bastard way back when and REALLY liked it a lot, so I had a feeling I would too (my mom and I have surprisingly similar taste in romance novels, awkward as that may seem!), and I immediately fell in lust with Bennett. (Sidenote: Can we address what an awesome name Bennett is for a guy?! If I didn’t already have my soon-to-be-born baby boy’s name picked out, Bennett would be up for consideration!) I also seriously gravitated toward Chloe as a strong and assertive female character who is also in tune with her wants, needs and emotions, and pretty soon lust turned to love because I was flipping the pages of this book faster than one can say “F*** me against a boardroom window, please”! 😉 Everything about this novel is, in a word, scintillating and I immediately requested pretty much every other novel in this series from my library’s e-book app. Christina Lauren definitely = romance reading at its finest!

❥❥❥❥ (out of 5)

The Deal by Elle Kennedy

I’m pretty sure I decided to read this novel because it was recommended by QUEEN Sarah J. Maas in one of her newsletters; I could be remembering this wrong, but regardless, The Deal did not disappoint as my first foray into Elle Kennedy’s catalogue. This novel has a lot to do with hockey, which was kind of interesting for the small-town girl in me who actually worked for over a year at a huge hockey equipment store in Canada, and I was thoroughly surprised that Garrett came across as a developed and deep male character. I was expecting him to be flat and a bit prick-ish, but he wasn’t, and his affection for Hannah and his willingness to help her through some really serious life events is very endearing. I also LOVED the fact that Hannah is a singer because it was super cool to read about, and her progression from being reluctant to get to know Garrett to fully trusting him with all of her secrets is really nice to witness. I was a fan of this book, and quickly put Elle Kennedy’s other novels on my To-Read List.

❥❥❥❥ (out of 5)

Perfect Timing by Laura Spinella

This book was beautifully written! That’s what stood out the most for me: the fact that the prose felt almost poetic, and it gave me a warm, comforted feeling. The love story of Isabel and Aidan was definitely unexpected and unique in so many ways, and I felt instantly drawn into their story as the narrative took me into their past while simultaneously showing me their present. The sequences outlining their teenage relationship were so expertly woven into their adult lives that I never had too many questions lingering that prevented me from enjoying the story, and I felt that both Isabel and Aidan were really nicely fleshed out and complex characters. There were some seriously heartbreaking moments in this novel, but the ending is a very satisfying one, and I am extremely glad that I decided to pick this novel up on a whim at a local book sale. Definitely the sort of book to crack open on a gloomy day and get totally lost in!

❥❥❥❥ (out of 5)

The Summer Without You by Karen Swan

Bless you, Karen Swan, you absolute marvel! If Karen Swan wasn’t one of my favourite authors before reading this novel (but, like, she kind of already was), then she was after I finished it. The Summer Without You is the perfect blend of suspense and romance, excitement and sheer enjoyment, and I was totally blown away by it! I wasn’t expecting to become so enraptured in the story of Rowena, a photographer spending her summer in the Hamptons, but I was immediately sucked in (as is the case with every Karen Swan novel I’ve ever read) and I just could not put the book down. I hadn’t felt this excited about a book in a really long time, and Karen Swan has such a way with words that you can’t help but be swept up in her narrative. I also love all of the details about fashion that she always infuses in her stories, but, more than that, I was blown away by the plot and how many layers there were to it, as well as how many genres it fit into. I would without doubt recommend Karen Swan to any romance lover, and this novel in particular is the PERFECT summer, beach read!

❥❥❥❥❥ (out of 5)

Beautiful Bitch by Christina Lauren

Hello again, Bennett and Chloe! This was a super fun and quick read, detailing a bit about Bennett and Chloe’s relationship after the events of Beautiful Bastard and I LOVED it! I read it mostly in one sitting and it was the perfect companion to the first novel, giving me that extra taste of Bennett and Chloe’s love story that I was craving. I think this is definitely a must-read if you loved Beautiful Bastard and it is so short and sweet that it’s a no-brainer to pick up.

❥❥❥❥ (out of 5)

Brightly Burning by Alexa Donne

This was a so-so adaptation of my favourite novel of all-time, Jane Eyre. Don’t get me wrong, the premise was absolutely unique and unlike anything I’ve encountered in an adaptation of a Victorian novel (it is, after all, set in space), but something about the novel just didn’t give me that warm and fuzzy feeling that I believe any retelling of Jane Eyre should. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that none of the characters are as memorable as the ones from the original, particularly Stella and Hugo who simply lack the chemistry and nuance that Jane and Rochester have. There felt like there was something missing throughout my reading of this novel, and I have to say that I was disappointed by it because I was so darn excited to read it when I first heard about it. That being said, it was entertaining enough, and I think if it wasn’t a retelling of a timeless classic, it might’ve been more successful as an original story in its own right.

❥❥❥ (out of 5)

The Mistake by Elle Kennedy

So I pretty much loved Elle Kennedy’s novel The Deal so much that I had to put this one on hold on my library’s app immediately. While I don’t think I quite liked this story as much as The Deal, probably because a large portion of it sees the main characters separated, I really did like it and think it is a great companion to The Deal. It was nice to fleetingly see Garrett and Hannah again, but I also found myself really intrigued by Logan, and he ended up being a lot more likeable and adorable than I expected. I do think the ending was a bit rushed in that Logan’s main sources of stress were dealt with a bit unrealistically and too quickly, but considering that this is meant to be a light-hearted romance, it definitely succeeded in delivering everything it promises to. Definitely a must-read if you were a fan of The Deal because it does deliver as a “sequel”!

❥❥❥❥ (out of 5)

The Paris Secret by Karen Swan

My original, one-sentence review of this novel was: “Karen Swan is officially solidified as one of my favourite authors ever!” That sentence is even truer now than it was a few days ago when I wrote it. The Paris Secret, like Swan’s other novel The Summer Without You, is somehow the absolute PERFECT blend of suspense and romance, with a plot that is a true page-turner but also gives you that warm, emotional feeling inside. I loved the main character, Flora, because she has this sharp edge to her that is really nice to see in a female character, but she is also extremely sensitive and is not immune to her sometimes troubled relationships with the people around her. She is also a powerhouse in the art world which made for a really interesting and unlikely story, and when the romance finally did get going, I was already rooting for Flora in so many ways but also excited for her to finally let her guard down and fall in love for the first time. Combine Swan’s incredible and engrossing writing style with the fact that the novel takes place largely in Paris and I was hooked from page one! Karen Swan’s novels never cease to amaze me, and honestly, I feel like she is the exact sort of writer I have always wished I could be. I would love to be best friends with her and get first access to all of her new stories, and my plan is actually to read through her entire catalogue by summer’s end. BIG BIG FAN!!!

❥❥❥❥❥ (out of 5)

Thanks for reading, as always! ❤

JNG

Girl with a Green Heart

My Body, My Choice ~ My Opinion on Abortion

There is only one thing I have done in my life that I have truly regretted, and it is a choice I made back when I was in high school (as so many of these things are). I went to a Catholic high school, and while I wouldn’t say that I was staunchly pro-life or anti-gay marriage, I was taught these sorts of opinions in my classes at school and I have to admit that I didn’t think to question them at the time. I want to say that this was because of my age or naïveté, but those are just excuses – the truth is that I was just ill-informed, and didn’t have the urge to make myself better-informed, which is without doubt very sad. One day, back when I was in grade 11 or 12, my English teacher approached me and asked if I would be willing to write an essay for a competition my school wanted to enter. I had very high marks in English, so I knew the teacher was coming to me because he hoped I would write an essay that would win the competition and bring some sort of recognition to our school in a relatively small town. When I asked what the essay had to be about, my English teacher told me that it needed to be a pro-life essay – basically an essay that was anti-abortion and argued for why abortion was wrong. I do remember feeling a bit uneasy about this, but I didn’t want to disappoint one of my favourite teachers and my entire school, so I agreed to write the essay.

That was the hardest piece I have ever written in my life. Again, it wasn’t because I considered myself pro-choice at the time (I like to think if I did, I would’ve had enough backbone and self-respect to decline writing the essay altogether). My difficulty came when I sat down in front of my laptop and realized I didn’t have any good arguments for why abortion was wrong other than, naturally, what the Bible (which I hadn’t even fully read, to be honest) told me. I wished that I never agreed to write the essay – something I wish even more fiercely now – and I wrote several drafts that were, to put it mildly, pitiful. Eventually, I turned to my dad for some guidance and he suggested I take the angle that the unborn child could turn out to be the next Mother Theresa or Martin Luther King, and focus on the lost potential that abortion precipitates. Of course, the unborn child could also go on to be the next Hitler, but we didn’t think about that too closely.

(It is worth noting here that my father is firmly pro-choice now and his opinions altered significantly at around the same time mine did.)

I really wasn’t all that confident in the essay but I ended up winning the competition. To say my teacher and my school were very proud is an understatement. When they stated that I had won over the morning announcements, I recall feeling some embarrassment, but I’m not sure if that was because of the subject matter of my prize-winning essay or because the announcement revealed me as the high achiever that I was in front of all my peers. In any case, I was then asked by the association who ran the competition to attend one of their meetings and read my essay in front of several hundred of their members. Somehow (surprise, surprise), I didn’t have the courage to turn that down either, and a few weeks later, I found myself surrounded by a room full of hardcore Catholics (as well as my parents and grandparents) reading words that I wasn’t exactly confident in.

It didn’t take long for me to investigate the topic of abortion again and come to a totally different conclusion than the one I spouted in my essay. Two years later, I was in university in downtown Toronto and was exposed to a whole lot of things I didn’t get to see or hear about in my tiny Catholic school. And I knew within months of being at university that everything I had been taught was absurd and outlandish – at that point, I became adamantly pro-choice and I have been so ever since.

When I think about it now, writing that pro-life essay, and apparently writing it pretty well, is a source of shame because it so radically conflicts with what I now know to be true. I don’t want this post to come across as accusatory of those that are religious or are pro-life for whatever reason. I am not trying to criticize these viewpoints because my main stance is that I am pro-CHOICE. This can easily become conflated with being pro-abortion, but that is completely erroneous, false and unjust. I have never professed the opinion that a woman must or should have an abortion – on the contrary, I have always believed the opposite, that a pregnant woman should be free to do whatever she chooses, whether that be to keep her unborn child or to have an abortion. I believe in the choice and in the fact that every person, male or female, deserves to be able to make their own decisions about what happens to their own body.

Obviously, abortion is a hot topic right now, hence this very post. I have recently come up against the opinion that my position on abortion should be different now that I am pregnant, and I wanted to set the record straight that my opinion has not and will not ever change. I am and always will be (PROUDLY!) pro-choice, and having a child inside of me does not alter that fact. On the contrary, it makes me more firmly pro-choice because I now realize the magnitude of being pregnant and the challenges that I face in raising a child. If a woman does not feel she is ready for that responsibility, is not in a relationship that will allow her to comfortably raise a child, or has been forced into the circumstance of pregnancy because of a horrific incident such as rape or incest, then that woman should absolutely, without question have the right to terminate her unwanted pregnancy. It is that simple and straightforward, and this is an opinion that is scientifically and medically supported. In my opinion, religion should not enter the picture here – we should be looking to doctors and medical professionals to assess when abortion is safe and allowing them to do their job, in conjunction with the circumstances of their female patients. If a religious woman (or any woman for that matter) chooses not to have an abortion herself, again, that is totally fine because, being pro-choice, I believe that woman should get to do exactly what she wants in that situation. The circumstances surrounding abortion are so subjective and so dependant on the individual woman and the scenario she is faced with, and I think it is dangerous to make blanket statements and blanket laws that apply to everyone across the board without understanding the subtle nuances at play.

I also firmly believe that no one has the right to tell me when I should become pregnant – not my family members, not my friends, not my employer and certainly not my government. My husband would have a say, certainly, but he should not be allowed to make that decision himself, without my active participation in it. Just as I believe no one can or should dictate when I choose to have a child, I feel strongly that no one should force me to have a child if I do not want it, and that is what is at stake here. I am not a politician and I haven’t read enough to know every minor detail of the laws that are being put forth recently, but I do know that the right to have an abortion is a human right. That makes this a question of human decency and compassion, and I personally cannot imagine being the type of individual who would subject a woman to carrying a baby to term that she does not want. That seems cruel and unjust to me in every sense, and I like to think that if there is a god, he or she would support those of us who protect and fight for the rights of ALL humans, not just a select few.

If this opinion offends any of you, I do apologize for that – but it may be worth remembering that your opinion may equally offend other people out there, and so no one is completely spotless or innocent when it comes to these sorts of debates. I go to bed each night feeling like a very good person because I try to be sympathetic and empathetic toward all of my fellow humans…and that is all I can really hope for when I turn out the lights at the end of a long day…

Janille N G

Girl with a Green Heart

It’s A… Prince Charming! ♔

This is just too much of a coincidence… Or could it be Fate?

I’m not one to piggyback on someone else’s good news, but in this particular case, I simply couldn’t resist!

As some of you may already know, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced yesterday that they have welcomed their new baby BOY into the world. I’m a huge fan of all things royal (that’s pretty transparent on this blog, I’m sure!), and I was so excited to hear this news yesterday. I would’ve been interested anyway, but my excitement was intensified by the fact that I found out, just over a week ago, the gender of my own baby (who is due in September).

I’m having…

*drum roll please*

…a baby BOY!!!

That’s right, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle won’t be the only ones with a little prince running around their household, because as of this Fall, I too will have a Prince Charming on my hands.

I think this is such a wonderful coincidence, and definitely made me ten times more excited to be having a little boy, because the fashion inspo I am going to get from Harry and Meghan’s child will be unreal. Haha! 😉

But on a more serious note, my husband and I are both thrilled and overjoyed that we are having a boy. A lot of people have asked me if I’m disappointed (which I think is pretty weird because I don’t know how you can be disappointed with the gender of your baby as long as it is healthy), but I honest to goodness am not! When I was in high school, I went through a phase where I pictured myself with a male child – this probably has a lot to do with the fact that I had just read The Time Traveler’s Wifefor the first time and loved the dynamic between Henry DeTamble and his mother. (Sidenote: Is the scene in the movie adaptation when Henry sees his mother on the subway, while time traveling, and tells her, “Your son loves you very much.” not utterly adorable?!?!) Whatever the reason, there was a long period of time when I just felt certain I would have a little boy of my own one day, and since I have always only wanted one child (my husband is also on board with this, as an only child himself), I never really entertained the idea of or envisioned having both a boy and a girl. Obviously, over the years I reminded myself that there is a 50% chance of having a baby of either gender, and I knew I would be equally happy with a girl, but I do think it is kind of special and magical that my first daydreams about my own child always starred a dark-haired and adorable boy.

And no, before you ask, I didn’t pick out a name for my little boy back in high school because I always found it so hard to feel connected to any male names (although I did entertain the name Henry for awhile, naturally). Now, 10 years later, my husband and I do already have a name picked out for our baby boy which I highly doubt will change, so we’ve already started referring to him by name and have spent some time each night picturing what he will look like and how he will act and how terrifying but incredible it will be to raise him. I will probably share our name choice with you all sometime soon, so stay tuned for that!

In the meantime, I wanted to share the picture my husband and I put together to announce the gender of our baby to our friends and families on social media. Ironically, we went with a royal theme (no surprise there!) which seems all the more fitting now that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have shared their equally amazing news. ♔♔♔

If you have any guesses of what you think the name we chose is, let me know in the comments – I’d be so interested to hear!

JNG

Girl with a Green Heart

The Heart of the Matter ~ An Exciting Announcement!

It has been a very long time since I had anything to say on this blog and that, I think, requires an explanation.

If I’m totally honest, reading and writing book reviews has been the last thing on my mind for the past 4 months. Since the end of January, I have been distracted, unable to focus, overly tired, anxious and generally not feeling like myself at all. I could barely keep my eyes trained on a book for more than a couple of pages, and I found myself unable to even sit still long enough to pick up my book to begin with. While this is something that would normally really worry me because it is such out of character behaviour, I had an explanation for why my mood and attention span were so altered, and so I decided to just go with the flow and not be too hard on myself. Admittedly, I would normally find it really difficult to go easy on myself, particularly in relation to my reading goals, but in this specific circumstance, I truly had no other choice because my body isn’t just my own anymore.

That’s because (you may’ve already guessed it)… I’m pregnant!

I’ve heard it’s quite common to find reading very hard when you’re in your first trimester of pregnancy, and I can certainly say that was the case for me…hence the severe lack of updates and posts here. But, I wouldn’t change it for the world! Sure, I’m not going to be anywhere close to reading the number of books I did last year…but, then again, I am growing a human inside of me and am going to be raising that human into (hopefully!) a fellow avid reader, so I figure it’s okay to cut myself some slack right now. Not only that, it’s pretty hard to sit silently on my couch with a book when all I want to be doing is chatting with my husband about our little nugget, watching YouTube videos uploaded by young moms, or talking on the phone with my own mother to get advice and tips for navigating this new, terrifying and exciting time in my life. Who has time for books when life is so thrilling, am I right? 😉

I mean, I should clarify that, thankfully, I am now getting back on the reading bandwagon and have finished a couple of books (listed below, with my Goodreads ratings) in the last couple of weeks. I unfortunately didn’t sit down to write reviews of these books because I was just grateful to be reading again and didn’t want to jeopardize my momentum, but I hope to get back into writing reviews again soon. And, even if I don’t write as many reviews as I normally would, I do definitely want to write posts throughout my pregnancy as a way of documenting my journey.

So, with that in mind, here’s a little pregnancy update, if you’re at all interested…

The photo my husband and I created and posted to announce our pregnancy – expanding our family by 1 nugget!

~ I’m now 18 weeks pregnant, so almost at 5 months/the halfway point!

~ I found out I was pregnant in late January, so that was the reason I referenced in a few posts back then that this is going to be one of the most exciting and challenging years of my life.

~ Our baby is due in late September! A Fall baby…I am so into it!

~ My husband and I already have names picked out, one for if the baby is a boy and one for if it is a girl. We’ve had these names picked out for a few years now and we really love them and don’t think we’re likely to change our minds on them. I will probably write a post to share what the name we’ve chosen is sometime soon…and I will probably also reveal the gender too!

~ On a more serious note, my pregnancy has not at all been an easy one. I had no idea what to expect, seeing as I’ve never been pregnant before, but I certainly did not expect it to be this difficult. I’m not trying to discourage anyone from having a baby by any means because it is absolutely still the most rewarding, wonderful and magical experience! That being said, I wanted to be honest about my challenges because it can often seem like being pregnant is all sunshine and daisies when it honestly is not.

I was lucky enough not to experience any actual morning sickness, other than nausea in the morning and at night (knock on wood I don’t start throwing up now because I jinxed it!). My particular pregnancy challenge has come in the form of severe and heightened anxiety. I’ve mentioned here before that I suffer from anxiety and have since I was in high school, and it is definitely one of the biggest challenges in my life. That being said, I never thought I would experience more extreme anxiety when I was pregnant – it is something that is quite common even in women who have never experienced anxiety in their lives before, but it just wasn’t something I was aware of. I have been battling with my anxiety for about the last month and a half, though, and I kind of feel like it has been the battle of my life. That may seem overly dramatic, but I can honestly say that I have never felt this nervous, panicked and unlike myself in my life, and none of my former coping mechanisms have been able to help me, probably because of the insane amount of hormones that are currently being unleashed in my body. I have a lot of support from my doctors at one of the best hospitals in Canada, though, so that is very reassuring, and my husband, family and friends have been super loving and caring as well. It is a daily struggle, however, and although I’m feeling better with each passing week, I am having to be very conscious of my thoughts and moods and have started to explore meditation techniques that I never would’ve tried in the past if I didn’t have this added push to do so. I’m also reading as much about anxiety as I possibly can, and am trying to understand my mind in a way that I haven’t been able to thus far in my life. It has been, at times, an incredibly sad and depressing process to try to work through my anxieties, and I have also felt hopeless and helpless, but I am doing everything I can at this point to get myself into a healthy mindset, and I know that after doing this sort of work, I will be a stronger version of myself than ever before…which is really the best possible outcome I can think of before becoming a mother. All that to say that my number one priority is to keep myself, and, by consequence, my baby, healthy, and even though that means I’ve had to re-evaluate some things and reset my mentalities a bit, there’s no other choice that I could imagine making. If you’re a parent, you’ll understand…and if you’re not yet, I hope you one day get the chance to understand my urge to do whatever is necessary to protect my child!

~ Another thing I’ve been trying to wrap my mind around is that this baby will bring with it a change in identity for me…from who I’ve always been to A Mother. Now, obviously I’m not expecting to change who I am drastically. My husband is constantly reminding me that he was so excited to have a baby with ME because of who I am and my personality, and so none of that should change just because the baby is actually on its way. And he is so right – I definitely want to be as much myself as possible while being a mother. But that doesn’t change the fact that now my number one priority in life will be this child and my most significant job will be to be its mother. It really is amazing how, once you find out you’re pregnant, your mindset does start to shift and things that were formerly important to you seem a little less critical and monumental. I think this is something that it’s also quite hard to understand until you become a parent, but there is already nothing I wouldn’t do for this child and I would put it before absolutely anything and anyone. If that’s selfish, then so be it, because I don’t think that it’s possible to care about or prioritize your child too much. That’s just the perspective I’ve always had (most definitely because I have incredible parents who gave me the world and continue to be hugely supportive to me!), and my husband is in total agreement that having this child begins an entirely new chapter for us where this baby is and always will be #1.

And sure, maybe that will mean giving up certain things that have been important to us in the past like, for example, reading goals. Maybe I’ll never be able to read as many novels in a year as I once did, or maybe I won’t be able to go on certain types of trips, or maybe I’ll have to re-evaluate my routine in a whole number of ways…but if I’m doing all that to keep my child healthy and happy and well taken care of, then it is a trade I have no hesitation making!

It sort of reminds me of this quote I read a few years ago where Thackeray was talking about Charlotte Brontë and said:

“‘rather than have fame rather than any other earthly good or mayhap heavenly one she wants some Tomkins or another to love her and be in love with.’”

That quote has always touched me because it emphasizes the fact that Charlotte would’ve given up being a celebrated author in order to have someone to share her life with. I took that to mean that all Charlotte wanted in her life was love, and that she would’ve traded any amount of success to have a husband and a family. I personally think that’s an amazing sentiment, and those are the aspects of life that I have always wanted to prioritize myself. So, doing everything I can for my husband and my baby is a no brainer, in my opinion!

I hope this post wasn’t too boring, even though it has very little to do with books. I just couldn’t wait to share this exciting news any longer, and I hope you’ll all be interested in a few more baby-related posts to come soon!

Books I’ve Recently Finished:

1) Let That Sh*t Go: How to Find Peace of Mind When You’re Standing in Line at the Grocery Store by Kate Petriw and Nina Purewal

❥❥❥(out of 5)

2) Roomies by Christina Lauren

❥❥❥❥(out of 5)

3) Beautiful Bastard by Christina Lauren

❥❥❥❥(out of 5)

4) The Deal by Elle Kennedy

❥❥❥❥(out of 5)

Janille N G

Girl with a Green Heart

A Change of Heart…and a New Frame of Mind

I wrote recently about how 2018 was my best reading year ever. I somehow managed to finish 75 books throughout the year, and this was despite the fact that I switched jobs and so lost some formerly valuable reading time during lunch breaks and in the evenings. I don’t think I’ve read 75 books in a year ever, and if I have, it was probably in university when most of the books were selected for me by my professors. At the end of 2018, I was elated and proud with my accomplishment, and looking back at the year and the titles of all the books I read, I was utterly amazed that somehow I still remembered them all.

Staring fondly at a very old book in my happy place, The Morgan Library.

But, what’s that saying again? New year, new you. When January 1st, 2019 rolled around, I immediately set my Goodreads goal to 50 books (just like I did in 2018) with the intention of pushing myself to read 75 books this year again…or more, if possible! For some reason though, my mentality toward reading, and particularly toward the reading challenge, was different as soon as I cracked open my first book of 2019. Although as of this moment I am technically 4 books ahead of schedule with my goal, I have had days where my heart and mind just have not been in my book and I have taken a break from reading on these days. However, that reading challenge is always there in the back of my head, whispering about all the time lost when I’m sitting watching TV or browsing Pinterest, and I found myself feeling guilty and almost anxious about not forcing myself to dig into my book. This seemed totally paradoxical to me because reading is meant to be my escape, not an added source of anxiety. I love reading because it takes me away from the burdens and responsibilities of my real life, and to have it become a symbol of stress was incredibly disappointing and worrisome. I also recognized that on the days I “took off” from reading, I needed to because I was feeling emotional or exhausted, and so slogging through a prescribed number of pages of my novel wouldn’t be healthy or productive. I couldn’t fault myself for taking the break, but I also did feel that number flashing in my mind: 50 books you MUST finish!

I’m sort of an all or nothing person, and I’m very goal-oriented, but today I had this realization that something’s gotta give! It’s one thing to be focused on goals and checking tasks off a To-Do List at work or school, but in every day life, it’s simply unnecessary and, for someone with my Type A tendencies, unhealthy. So, with all that in mind, I made the tough (for me, at least!) decision to reduce my Goodreads goal to…1 book. This basically means that, since I have already read 10 books this year, I have officially achieved by 2019 reading challenge. Now, of course, I still want to read as many books as I can this year…but I want to read because I LOVE IT and AM EXCITED ABOUT IT, not because it is an obligation. I would rather use the Goodreads challenge as a sort of counter, to track the books I’ve finished this year and be able to look back at them, than a concrete goal. And while it went against everything I’m about to reduce the number of books on my challenge, I already feel so much lighter and freer to read at my own pace and to sit down with my book when my heart is eager to.

I know a lot of readers feel the same way I do about reading challenges and how arbitrary they can be, and that has definitely given me an extra push to approach reading differently in the future. Like I said, reading is something I have always adored doing, and I never want that feeling of joy and peace to be taken away by a number or a competition.

Do any of you fellow readers feel this way about reading challenges? What is your approach to them? I’d love to discuss with you and get your feedback on my decision!

JNG

Girl with a Green Heart

Yours Truly ~ #JNGReads

I have to be totally honest and realistic here…I don’t think I’m going to be posting a book review for a while.

The reason for that is not at all that I’m going to be taking a step back from reading – quite the contrary, I am actually going to be reading a 980-page novel. That’s right, as soon as it came out on October 23rd, I leapt right into the world of Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas, the final installment in the Throne of Glass series.  Now, a nearly 1,000-page book would not necessarily take me that long to finish (especially because I usually try to read 100 pages per day), but with this one in particular, I want to take my time and revel in every moment spent with this book.  Although I had a nonchalant attitude toward the first few books in the Throne of Glass series, by Empire of Storms, I was hooked and I have been looking forward to Kingdom of Ash for months now.  So why rush it?  I certainly see no reason to, and so I’ll probably be a bit MIA on the blog for some time.  But, rest assured, I will definitely have lots of thoughts about Kingdom of Ash once I’m finished.

And, in the meantime, here’s a teeny tiny review of a book I finished earlier this week to tide you all over…

Yours Truly by Kirsty Greenwood

This novel should be a Hallmark movie.

It’s sugary sweet and adorable, and the narrator Natalie is an absolute riot. I thoroughly enjoyed this read, and although it wasn’t the best book I’ve ever read (or even the best chick lit. novel), it was definitely a great diversion.

I would definitely recommend it to fans of Sophie Kinsella, Sally Thorne, Gemma Townley and all those other writers of great, quirky romances!

❥❥❥(out of 5)

Thank you, as always, for stopping by!

JNG

Girl with a Green Heart

JNG’s Weekly Round-Up ~ What I’ve Read and Been Up to Recently

Hello and Happy Sunday, dear Readers! My apologies for not having a Weekly Round-Up for you last week.  I had every intention of posting a review for the book I finished two weeks ago last weekend, but I must admit, … Continue reading

JNG’s Weekly Round-Up ~ What I Read This Week

Happy Sunday, dear Readers!

I managed to finish two short novels this week. I wrote short reviews of both of them on Goodreads, but thought it would be a good idea to also post them here on the blog.

Top Ten by Katie Cotugno

I liked this book in spite of myself.

In spite of Gabby being snarky about 90% of the time.

In spite of the overuse of the words “dude” and “intellectually”.

In spite of the fact that there is a bisexual female lead character (finally!) who doesn’t get a single chance to express to the reader why or how she arrived at these feelings and this awesome sense of self-acceptance, even though that sort of storyline would have been 10 times more fascinating than the cliché 80’s movie one we got.

In spite of the constant fighting and immature bickering of the two best friends/pseudo-lovers.

In spite of a portrayal of anxiety that felt (to this reader who suffers from anxiety) to be oversimplified and that focused too much on Gabby blaming and hating herself for having a mental illness, rather than accepting it and choosing to love and take care of herself. And in spite of the use of the word “panicker” in place of “panic attack” (ew!).

In spite of the jarring timeline.

In spite of the strangely first person-esque third person narration.

And finally, in spite of my eventual realization, in the end, that nothing really happened at all and that the characters didn’t grow one bit.

❥❥❥ (out of 5)

 

Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn

Sharp Objects is:
Addictive | Thrilling | Unsettling | Upsetting | Traumatic | Chilling | Haunting | Gross | Emotional | Visceral | Grotesque | Disgusting | Sticky | Suffocating | Messy | Messed Up | Frightening | Fascinating | Terrifying

Many of these words might be written on main character Camille Preaker’s skin. Or, I should say more accurately, carved into. That image in itself portrays how graphic Sharp Objects is, and how much of the novel is truly felt by the reader, almost physically. Sharp Objects, but more particularly Camille Preaker’s narration, got under my skin and made me queasy and tingly, and I think the true power and profundity of Sharp Objects is not in its plot (which is quite a run of the mill murder mystery) but instead in its telling, in its characters and their flawed psychologies, in Camille’s unvarnished speech and honesty. Reading Sharp Objects felt like being confided in, even as so much of me wanted to run from the secrets and inner thoughts that were being revealed.
❥❥❥ (out of 5)

Have a lovely day and week ahead! xo

JNG

Girl with a Green Heart

How I Read ~ Reading Habits Book Tag ~ #JNGReads

Happy Sunday Everyone!

I am very pleased to be back with you this afternoon after having been included in a lovely bookish tag by the amazing Catherine at This Is One for the Books. Catherine’s reviews and posts are always so well-written, thorough and passionate, and she is the perfect reader to follow along with on her Goodreads and Twitter (her tweets always get me laughing and thinking) – I’d highly recommend giving this fellow Canadian of mine a follow! Thank you again for the tag, Catherine! xo

Now, onto the questions that Catherine has tasked me with answering, all of which are about my reading habits. These questions were such fun to answer as they got me thinking about how I read and why I read in a certain way.

(Sidenote: Feel free to follow along with me, and my best friend Camille, on our bookstagram account Emerald & Opal to see more photos like the one above!)

  1. Do you have a certain place at home for reading? 

When I was still living with my parents (just over a year ago), I would always read in my bedroom because my dad would be blaring hockey on the TV and I would find it impossible to concentrate. But, since moving in with my husband, I now read on the couch in our living room, and if my husband is watching a TV show or playing a videogame (as he is right now, beside me – shout out to anyone who has played the game “Witcher III”!), he is kind enough to throw on headphones so that I can still curl up and cuddle beside him but not have to contend with the noises from whatever he’s doing. My dad could learn a thing or two on TV watching etiquette from him – haha! 😉

  1. Bookmark or random piece of paper? 

Bookmark all the way – I’ve been collecting them since I was a kid, and I am currently using one that I got when I was in London on my honeymoon, from the Victoria & Albert Museum.

Fun fact, though: My mom uses a square of (unused, obviously!) toilet paper as her bookmark…and she’s always losing it, which I guess is okay because she has like an endless supply. But needless to say, I find this a bit of an odd preference!

  1. Can you just stop reading or do you have to stop after a chapter/a certain amount of pages? 

Like Catherine, I prefer to stop at the end of a chapter so that I can remember where I left off, but I often read on my subway trip into work, so this isn’t always possible. I don’t usually have a problem remembering what part of the page I left off at, though, because I will always make sure I finish the paragraph I was reading, even if I have to pause in the subway station before walking to work.

  1. Do you eat or drink while reading? 

I will definitely have a drink with me while I read – right now, I’m sipping on an Arizona iced green tea, but I usually have an earl grey or English breakfast hot tea. Or water if nothing else is available, but that just doesn’t feel special enough as a reading beverage most often. Like Catherine (again), I can’t eat while I’m reading because it requires that I look away from the page too much to make sure I’m not spilling my food, which I tend to do a lot because I am the world’s messiest eater!

  1. Multitasking: Music or TV while reading? 

Nope, definitely not! I have tried listening to classical/instrumental music while reading before, but even that distracts me. The only time it works okay is if I’m reading in a coffeeshop because background noise doesn’t get to me.

  1. One book at a time or several at once? 

Always one book at a time! I’ve never been able to read multiple books at once, ever since I was a kid, because I find it so hard to stay focused and keep the stories straight. Also, I’m an all or nothing kind of person, so I prefer to focus all my energies on finishing one book and then moving onto the next one.

  1. Reading at home or everywhere?

I read everywhere! I always have a book with me to pull out on the subway or during my lunch break, and sometimes I even feel too restless and distracted by household chores to read at home, so I’ll head out to my favourite Starbucks so I can focus on nothing else but my reading goal for the day. (I’m a bit crazy so I’ve set a goal for myself of reading 100 pages a day…it’s almost like daily homework, but more fun!)

  1. Reading out loud or silently in your head? 

I read silently because I find it really hard to absorb a text when I read it out loud…but I have started reading Neil Gaiman’s book Norse Mythology aloud to my husband because he’s not much of a book reader (he prefers graphic novels) but he really wanted to hear the story. I feel like the style of Norse Mythology lends itself to being read aloud, though, so it has been working out well so far.

  1. Do you read ahead or even skip pages?

Okay, confession time: I always read the last sentence of a novel at the start. I know this is probably a controversial thing and some (most) readers will think I’m insane, but I just have had this habit forever, and my brother actually does the same thing. Yes, this does result in spoilers a lot of the time, but I’m not at all bothered by that, and usually it just makes me eager to read even faster and find out how the characters could’ve gotten to those circumstances by the end!  

  1. Breaking the spine or keeping it like new? 

I can’t imagine ever breaking the spine of a book. Blasphemy!

  1. Do you write in your books? 

I do sometimes. I have no qualms about writing in a book because I started the habit in university to highlight passages and make little notes, and I like to do that now when I find a quote that really speaks to me. I also (*gasp*) dog-ear pages of my books if they have a passage I really like so I can find them easily later, and I love looking back at a book and seeing all these pages dog-eared and knowing I must’ve loved the writing a lot!

Well, that’s it from me – thanks again to Catherine for tagging me because this was a ton of fun!

I would like to tag the following awesome bloggers (no pressure to answers these questions, but just wanted you to know I’m constantly inspired by what you write!)…

Emma | Lily | Crystal

Janille N G

Girl with a Green Heart